Monday, March 8, 2010

Glyde Vegan Condoms Testing

I love my life. Especially when my letter carrier brings me envelopes full of brightly colored condoms. Or when I get to have telephone conversations like this:
Me: What are you doing Saturday?
R: What have you got in mind?
M: I have to test some vegan condoms and I need a lab assistant.
R: Dude!
M: They come in a bunch of flavors and sizes. I think I even saw a slim fit...
R: (quickly) We won't be needing those.
Until I stumbled upon a website selling Glyde condoms I had no idea that most condoms were made using an animal by-product called casein. Glyde's are made with a thistle extract instead. They are the first condom to be certified by PETA's Caring Consumer program. They are also a "fair trade" product meaning that the Latex rubber is sourced from owner operated plantations and the manufacturing facility pay their workers a fair living wage.

Glyde condoms come in three sizes: 49 mm Slimfit, 53 mm Ultra and 56 mm Maxi. They also come in five flavors: wildberry, strawberry, blueberry, vanilla and licorice. In Australia licorice is replaced with cola for some reason. All of the flavors are made from sugar-free food grade organic fruit and nut extracts. I'm not sure how "natural" cola flavor is but I'll go with it.

About the test:
The flavored condoms were tested first followed by the appropriately sized condom. Each condom was put through the same series of motions for the same amount of time. The reactions of both participants were noted after each condom. I drank water after each flavored condom to remove the previous flavor. Laughter was an unintended by-product of these experiments.

The general results:
R liked the way each condom felt. He didn't notice any difference between the Glyde condoms and the type he normally used. I had trouble opening the packaging. I didn't want to use my teeth so I had to get a pair of scissors. The lubricant used on the condoms built up as an oily sensation on my lips that I didn't like. The flavors didn't always cover up the latex taste or smell.

The flavored results:
"Wildberry" had a nice smell when I opened the wrapper. The scent quickly dissipated and only a hint was left while the condom was being used. There was only a vague taste of berries that didn't last. I liked the purple color.


"Blueberry" had very little smell when the wrapper was first opened and no smell when it was being used. This condom seemed to be smaller than the others as I had trouble putting it on. The blue color was nice if you like blue which I do not.
The pink "Strawberry" condom had very little scent when removed from the packaging. I gagged when I suddenly got a huge whiff of a sort of "bubble gum" smell when I had more of the condom in my mouth.

"Vanilla" is my favorite flavor so I was disappointed at the weak smell and even weaker taste. It was almost like using a non-flavored condom. Even the color was off. It looked a normal condom with a slight yellow tint.


We did not try the "licorice" because I hate licorice and R wasn't inclined to try it.


Conclusions:
Vegan condoms are every bit as good as other condoms they have the bonus of being "green". I'm beginning to think that there is no way to make flavored condoms taste and smell good for the entire time they are being used. You can try them for yourselves. If you do please come back and leave a comment. You can be anonymous if you want to.

Check out Glyde's 9 Great Condom Tips for some very good advice.

Disclaimer: When I contacted the company to find out where I could purchase their flavored condoms I was offered a sample pack for free.

1 comment:

  1. Very interesting a green condom, a condom for the environment so whilst you are getting it on in your sexy lingerie you can be sure that you are saving and not endangering the planet. Great idea and more of a reason to get it on more.

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